


Just The Way You Are

by writingpeach



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, James and Sirius have so much platonic love for each other!!!, M/M, Marauders' Era, Trans Character, Trans Sirius Black, and Peter is actually a good person, the ending is kinda rushed I apologize
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 07:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11869908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingpeach/pseuds/writingpeach
Summary: Sirius is on his period. Remus just wants to be there for his favorite boy.





	Just The Way You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not FtM trans, but I do identify as non-binary, so Sirius' experiences are based off my experiences with gender identity and dysphoria. If there is anything in my writing that you feel is offensive or is a misrepresentation of trans people, please let me know.

Sirius hadn't left his bed in hours. 

"Pads," groaned James. "You've been shut up in there since breakfast. Won't you just come out and talk to us?"

Sirius' curtains were charmed shut, and his three friends sat outside growing rather impatient. He hadn't said a word to them since he'd woken up — he'd gone to the bathroom, come out in tears, and then had retreated immediately to the hidden safety of his covers.

"Maybe we should just leave him alone," whispered Peter. He chewed at his fingernails.

"Nonsense, Wormtail! Our friend needs us, we can't just leave him here to sulk all day and—" James was interrupted by a mumble that came from Sirius' bed. 

"Just go away, Prongs."

"Sirius! Mate, come on, we're only trying to help." James sighed, and Remus placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. Sirius' curtains didn't do so much as rustle.

"Give him time," Remus said. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You know that this time of month is rough for him." James looked at the bed, but Remus shook his head. "You go. I'll talk to him." Reluctantly, James stood from the place he had been sitting on Sirius' trunk. Ever since Remus and Sirius had started dating a few months ago, it was Remus who always went to comfort the other boy. 

"C'mon, Pete," James said. "I'll lose another game of chess against you." 

“Coming!” Peter got to his feet with a squeak and followed him to the door, pausing only to glance nervously back at the other two. Remus waved him off and waited until the dorm was empty to speak. 

"Sirius?" he called gently. He reached out to the curtains, but they still didn't budge. "Pads, please let me in." Nothing. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, I just — I want to make sure you're okay, you've been in there so long and we're all so worried about you..." Finally, the curtains opened.

"Quit rambling, Moony."

Remus poked his head hesitantly into the bed. Sirius had the covers pulled all the way up to his chin, and his face was blotchy and tear-stained. He turned away when Remus looked at him.

"I don't want you to see me," he said. 

"Padfoot, honestly. Enough of that," said Remus. "At least let me in beside you." There was a small pause before Sirius shuffled over in the bed, giving Remus room to get under the covers with him. Warm hands wrapped themselves around the black-haired boy's body, and that caused another wave of fresh tears to spill from his eyes. Remus shushed him, nudging his face into the crook of Sirius' neck. "Shh," he said. "I love you." He let Sirius cry until his sobs diminished into hiccups. "Talk to me, love," he said. Remus felt the other boy's spine press further into his stomach. 

"You must — you must hate me," stuttered Sirius. 

"You know that's not true."

"But everything's all wrong."

"Some men get periods," said Remus. "Doesn't make you any less of a boy, you know. Not to me." Sirius' shoulders began to shake again. 

"I don't want it to be like this," he cried. "I don't want you to be with me just because you feel bad for me and I—"

"Sirius..."

"I understand if you want to leave, you know, because what kind of gay bloke wants to date a fucking _girl_ —"

"Sirius, stop."

"—especially a girl who's got blood coming out of them _every fucking month_ and—"

"Sirius, look at me." 

Finally, Sirius rolled around to face his boyfriend. His eyes were red and puffy and they looked at everything but Remus.

"I hate it," he said quietly after a moment. "I hate that this body has all the wrong parts."

"Sirius," declared Remus, "I wouldn't care if you had a dick growing out of your forehead. I would still fancy the pants right off you, you know that?" The corners of the other boy's mouth twitched up into a small smile, but the frown returned again almost instantly. 

"I don't have a dick," he said. "I can't be what you want me to be."

"I never said anything about what I wanted."

"You're gay, Moony. You like blokes. Not... Not _this_." Sirius gestured at himself. 

"I don't care what bits you've got, Padfoot. Well, I mean, I do _care_ , it's just that — Merlin, Sirius, you're the only bloke I want." The black-haired boy shook his head and turned away again. 

"You don't get it."

"The stairs let you into _our_ dorm, didn't they?"

"Remus..."

"Besides, you're better looking than most blokes I know."

"Even James?"

"Yes, Sirius," grinned Remus. "Even James." He laced his fingers into the other boy's hair and kissed at his ear. 

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"What? That my boyfriend is brave enough to be himself? No." Sirius let his eyes fall shut as Remus' mouth trailed over his jaw, but the distraction didn't last long.

"You won't want to have sex with me. I don't have the right parts."

"Sex doesn't need to be a part of this right now if you don't want it to be. But if you did, I'm sure we could figure it out." Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively. Sirius almost laughed. He nestled further into his boyfriend's body and let their legs tangle together underneath the covers. "I love you, you know," mumbled Remus into Sirius' hair. "And so do James and Pete."

"I know." 

"And don't you dare think for a bloody minute that we don't love you just the way you are." They were both quiet for a moment until Sirius began to squirm under the covers. 

"It hurts," he said, clutching at his abdomen. "The cramps." Almost as if by reflex, Remus immediately propped himself up on his elbows to look around the room.

"There's got to be a spell for that," he said. "Just let me find my wand..." He made to get up from the bed, but Sirius reached out an arm to stop him.

"Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Could you — uh, could you rub my stomach, maybe?" He looked away, heat rushing to his cheeks. "It's just... I heard it's supposed to help." Remus smiled. 

"'Course, Pads." He returned to his position beside Sirius on the bed and crawled back under the covers. Sliding a gentle hand under the hem of the other boy's pyjama shirt, he massaged circles on his skin until Sirius let out a breath.

"That feels good," he mumbled. Remus' fingers slipped just underneath the elastic of Sirius' pyjama bottoms, and he looked up at his boyfriend's eyes for permission before resting his hand there on his abdomen. 

"This okay?" Sirius nodded softly.

"Your hand's warm. S'nice."

"You've always got a home with me, Sirius," said Remus after a while. He moved his hand up to Sirius' left side, over his heart, where he could feel the material of his well-worn binder under his fingertips. "It's what's in here that I love." Sirius tilted his head up to kiss him. "My favourite boy," murmured Remus against his lips.

Not long after, they were interrupted by the sound of the dormitory door opening, followed by a dramatic groan from James and Peter giggling something about winning chess for the twelfth time that week. Remus pulled away from Sirius, though they kept their hands held together under the covers, and sat up in the bed to make room for the others. James smiled softly at Sirius when their eyes met.

"Alright, Pads?" he asked. Sirius nodded. There was a wordless exchange of unconditional love that passed between the two boys, and as Remus watched he squeezed Sirius' hand as if to say, _see, I told you_. Peter hopped up onto the bottom of the bed and reached into the pocket of his robes to pull out a slightly squashed pastry.

"Here," he said, holding it out to Sirius. "I snuck this back from breakfast this morning. It’s sort of flat now, but it probably still tastes alright!" He grinned sheepishly.

"Thanks, Wormy," said Sirius. He took the pastry from Peter and ripped off a piece to eat. "You're the best." Peter’s grin widened.

"Now," said James, "how about sneaking into Honeydukes to snag a few sugar quills?" He held up the invisibility cloak and offered a grin to Sirius. 

"James, maybe now’s not the best time,” began Remus, but Sirius' eyes were already beginning to gleam with a familiar spark of mischief, and Remus knew there was no stopping him now. He shook his head and laughed. "Fine," he said. "But be back before dinner." Sirius untangled himself from the sheets and kissed Remus swiftly on the cheek before getting up. 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Moonbeam," he said. "Come on then, Prongs, there's not a moment to waste!" Remus watched on fondly as the two boys made their way out of the dormitory. Just before they reached the door, James slung an arm around Sirius' shoulders and leaned down to say something into his ear. Sirius' mouth moved to say "thanks" and then settled into a grin. The door shut with a soft thud, and Remus turned back to Peter.

"Well, Pete," he said, "looks like it's just us. Come on, let's go downstairs — James will be downright pissed if I can beat you at chess."


End file.
